7-10 mins

If there’s one piece of wisdom echoed by some of the world’s most successful individuals, it’s this: The person you choose as a life partner can be the single most important factor in your success.

This isn’t just a cliché – it’s a profound truth that has shaped the lives of countless high achievers.

Take, for example, a 93-year-old billionaire who once shared:  “The most important decision you’re going to make in your entire life is the spouse. Because the wrong one is a disaster, and the right one is fantastic.”

Warren Buffett, another legendary billionaire, expressed a similar sentiment: “The most important decision you’ll make is the spouse that most of you will likely have.”

I recently turned 30, and while I’m far from billionaire status (for now!), I can confidently say that this advice holds true. The right spouse isn’t just a companion—they are a partner in every sense of the word.

The Bible puts it this way: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor…” Mark Manson expands on this idea brilliantly:  “When you’re committing to somebody, what you’re really committing to is a confidant, a counselor, a career advisor, a therapist, a co-investor, a teacher, a travel buddy, a roommate—hopefully, your best friend. You really need to choose wisely.”

This sentiment rings true in my own life. My wife isn’t just my partner—she’s my greatest supporter, advisor, and motivator. She challenges me to grow, holds me accountable to my dreams, and stands by me in ways that directly impact my ability to reach my full potential.

While romance and chemistry are undoubtedly important, today I want to highlight something deeper—the real, practical ways my wife’s presence shapes the life we’re building together.

In the following blog post, I’ll dive into personal stories and specific examples of how her unwavering support has become an integral part of my success.

Let me start with the story of how we met and where life has taken us since.

It all began in 2016 while we were still students, both pursuing engineering degrees. One day, I caught sight of her in conversation with a mutual connection. I couldn’t help but stare—something about her completely captivated me. Being shy, I didn’t muster the courage to engage right there and then, but “fate” gave me another shot. When we met again (shortly after), I knew I had to introduce myself at the very least. That evening, I walked her to her car, and from that moment on, we started seeing more of each other.

A couple of months later, after spending winter break apart, we realized just how much we had missed each other. (I suppose absence does make the heart grow fonder!) Not long after, I officially asked her to be my girlfriend during a sunrise hike up Lion’s Head in Cape Town, South Africa—an unforgettable moment surrounded by breathtaking views. Fast forward to October 2019, and we were joined in holy matrimony, beginning our life as one.

Looking back, the timing of our wedding couldn’t have been more perfect. Little did we know, just a few months later, the entire world would be plunged into lockdown. As a young married couple, we embraced every moment of isolation in our cozy 65 m² apartment, grateful for the time together and fortunate enough to continue working in the midst of the uncertainty around us.

We had always dreamed of working abroad, and, strangely enough, that time in lockdown made us pursue it more actively. My wife joined a Facebook group for South Africans who had immigrated to the Netherlands, and one day, she spotted a job opportunity that felt tailor-made for me. I applied, and by May 2021, we packed our bags and moved to the Netherlands to begin a brand-new chapter. Everything aligned perfectly—we felt a deep sense of peace that we were exactly where we were meant to be.

After settling into our new life and traveling extensively, another dream began to take shape—the dream of starting a family of our own. And in October 2023, we welcomed our daughter into the world.

By now, it should be no surprise that my wife is exceptionally intelligent. Completing an engineering degree in four years is impressive in itself—but earning a degree in chemical engineering, widely regarded as one of the most challenging disciplines, is an achievement few can claim. I’d like to believe that I played a small role in her journey and success that followed 😉

One of the very first lessons we learned as newlyweds came from something as simple as making our bed.

One morning, as we were getting ready for work, my wife took a moment to straighten the bedding—following Admiral William H. McRaven’s philosophy that starting your day with a small accomplishment sets the tone for success. But instead of appreciating the effort, I found myself nitpicking how it looked. According to my standards, it wasn’t quite neat enough, so I instinctively smoothed out the bedding, ironing out the creases.

The tension lingered during our commute to work, but by the time we returned home, reflection had given us clarity. We realized something fundamental—not just about marriage, but about life itself. It wasn’t about one of us being right or wrong. Rather, it was about recognizing that sometimes one person starts, and the other refines. Sometimes, one initiates, and the other finishes. That day, we learned that our differences weren’t obstacles—they were strengths. And if we leaned into them, rather than fought against them, we could accomplish so much more together.

I can name countless instances where my wife has pushed me beyond what I thought was possible—both at work and at home. Whether it was packing our bags and moving abroad, renovating the entire back garden (mostly on my own), or speaking at public events in front of unfamiliar crowds, she has always seen my hidden potential and found a way to bring out the best in me.

As a wife to me and a mother to our daughter, she lifts us up every single day with her unwavering love and selfless dedication. She is the heart of our home—our own living thermometer—keeping the balance, warmth, and harmony just right (a true homemaker in every sense). Just recently, she prepared a sermon filled with wisdom and practical guidance that spoke directly to my challenges at work. And even as I write this blog, she is in the kitchen, tirelessly baking the most beautiful cupcakes for my upcoming 30th birthday party, late into the night. She pours her love into everything she does, turning ordinary moments into extraordinary expressions of care.

One tradition we introduced a little too late is our weekly ‘retro’ moment every Sunday evening. Together, we reflect on the past week—what went well, what didn’t, and what we can do differently moving forward in order to improve as a unit. We also look ahead, sharing thoughts on upcoming events, challenges, and situations we might face. This simple habit has saved us from countless arguments and has strengthened our ability to support each other in meaningful ways.

I’ll never forget one particular moment that exemplifies my wife’s generosity and thoughtfulness. I was swamped with work but really wanted to surprise a colleague with something sweet for his birthday, as he had done the same for me. With no time to visit the shop before heading to the office, I had nearly given up—until my wife, without hesitation, started baking homemade brownies for me to bring to work the next day. Her kindness and willingness to step in when I needed help is just one of the countless ways she makes life better. It’s moments like these that remind me how lucky I am.

Have I mentioned what an incredible sounding board my wife is? I can bring any topic to her and always expect the most insightful, objective advice.

In 2024, I started planting the idea of buying an investment property, researching potential locations and earmarking promising options. We arranged multiple visits to different apartments but weren’t convinced about the potential ROI. Shortly after, my wife discovered another prime location and found an apartment that looked far better on paper. She wasn’t about to make a blind commitment, though. Wanting to fully understand what she was signing up for as a co-buyer, she built an impressive property calculator, complete with built-in variables. It gave us a clear view of monthly expenses and allowed us to calculate our breakeven point using different financial parameters.

Thanks to her analytical mind and commitment to making informed decisions, we ended up buying the property – a decision we made as true partners. I love that we share the load when it comes to big life choices, whether they concern our financial situation or our family (or anything else for that matter).

It might sound cliché, but my wife truly makes me a better person—whether as a colleague, husband, father, or simply as myself. When I reflect on my life before her and compare it to where I am today, so much of my growth and success is because of her quiet, unwavering support. She lifts me up in ways others may never see, always encouraging me to strive for the best version of myself. Without her presence, I wouldn’t be the man I am today.

Someone once said that marriage is never a perfect 50-50 split. Some days, you might only have 20% to give, and your spouse has to bring the other 80%. Other times, the roles are reversed. That’s completely okay—but transparency is key. Your partner needs to know when to step in and carry the weight when you can’t.

And believe me, there will be moments when, together, you don’t even add up to 100%. When both of you feel depleted. That’s okay too. The important thing is recognizing it and figuring out how to extend grace to each other in those times. Marriage isn’t about keeping score – it’s about showing up for each other, even when the balance isn’t perfect.

Whenever life throws difficult curveballs our way, I remind myself that it’s my wife and me against the world. Having a teammate like her by my side fills me with incredible confidence in our ability to navigate whatever challenges come our way. We’ve got each other’s back, and that’s what truly matters.

So, I’ll leave you with a few questions to reflect on: Have you chosen—or are you choosing—someone who wholeheartedly believes in your dreams? Someone who will advocate for you, be the wind in your sails, and stand beside you as your unwavering support system?

I know I have, and I can’t imagine a future without her.

I hope this post gave you some valuable insights! If you found it helpful or have any thoughts to share, please leave a comment below and let me know. Your feedback helps me create better content for you. Don’t forget to hit that like button if you enjoyed reading! 🚀