Growing up, I used to dread verbal orals at school. Where I come from, the format was simple but terrifying: the teacher would assign a topic, and you’d have to prepare a speech to deliver in front of the entire class. If you were lucky, you’d get some time to prepare and maybe even use notes. But every now and then, you’d be put on the spot—forced to think on your feet with nothing but adrenaline and hope. I remember sitting at my desk, silently praying the teacher would skip over me. But somehow, they always remembered my name. And like clockwork, I’d be called to the front of the classroom, heart pounding, palms sweating, voice trembling.

Fast forward to 2018, the start of my professional career. Suddenly, speaking wasn’t optional—it was expected. I found myself speaking up in meetings, giving presentations, and putting myself out there for colleagues, clients, and sometimes complete strangers to judge. To make things even more challenging, English wasn’t my first language. It was rusty, to say the least. And now, I had to communicate everything—ideas, strategies, insights—in English.

It’s safe to say I stretched myself enormously over the years. In 2023, I did something I never imagined I’d have the courage to do: I volunteered (yes, you heard right) to speak at the World Data Conference in Amsterdam where we had a turnout of more than 150 delegates joining from all over the world. Since then, I’ve presented at several other events, sharing my work with large, often unfamiliar audiences.

You might think that after all this practice, I’d be a natural speaker by now—confident, polished, fearless. But here’s the truth: I still get nervous. I still feel self-conscious. Every time I step onto a stage or speak into a microphone, I feel that same flutter in my chest that I did back in school. You might wonder why.

In Rich Dad Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki highlights a striking insight about public speaking:

“It is said that the fear of public speaking is a fear greater than death for most people. According to psychiatrists, the fear of public speaking is caused by the fear of ostracism, the fear of standing out, the fear of criticism, the fear of ridicule, and the fear of being an outcast.”

So then if public speaking is a fear greater than death for most people, why do I keep on showing up? Why do I deliberately put myself in these very challenging situations? Why don’t I just back out?

Later in his book, Robert Kiyosaki encourages us to confront and overcome the situations we fear most. He even suggests that we may need to force ourselves to face them, comparing the process to going to the gym: the most painful part is deciding to go. But once you get past that initial resistance, it becomes relatively easy—or at least, not as bad as we imagined.

When I think about public speaking and communication, I can confidently say it does get easier. You improve as you build those muscles. But the fear itself? I’m sorry to say but that might never completely disappear.

To manage the fear and anxiety so often associated with public speaking and communication, I was grateful to stumble upon a psychotherapeutic technique called paradoxical intention while reading Viktor E. Frankl’s gripping Man’s Search for Meaning a few years ago. This approach encourages us to intentionally engage in the very behavior we fear—essentially flipping the script on anxiety.

It is a technique within Logotherapy that helps individuals confront their fears by willing the feared behavior to happen. Instead of resisting or avoiding the anxiety-inducing action, the person exaggerates or even humorously embraces it. This counterintuitive move often breaks the cycle of anticipatory anxiety and performance pressure.

Public speaking anxiety is often fueled by anticipatory anxiety—the fear of fear itself. You worry you’ll stutter, forget your words, or be judged harshly. Paradoxical intention suggests that instead of trying to suppress these fears, you lean into them. For example, someone afraid of stuttering might deliberately try to stutter during a speech. Ironically, this effort often results in not stuttering at all.

Frankl shares a powerful anecdote in his book:

“…Never in his life…had [the stutterer] been free from his speech trouble…except once…he tried to demonstrate that he was just a poor stuttering boy. At that moment, when he tried to stutter, he was unable to do it.”

This boy, in trying to force the stutter to gain sympathy, inadvertently practiced paradoxical intention. By attempting to stutter, he removed the pressure and fear that usually triggered it—and found himself speaking fluently.

Now that we have a better understanding of the fear often associated with public speaking and communication—and how we might begin to overcome it—I’d like to share some advice that has helped me enhance the quality of my presentations over the years. Clear and confident communication is an essential skill for every young professional, and being able to articulate your thoughts effectively can make all the difference.

Vinh Giang is an award-winning keynote speaker and communication coach, renowned for sharing expert strategies on effective communication. If you want to see a master communicator in action, just watch how he speaks and delivers his message—it’s really impressive.

In one interview, he shared a very simple yet powerful technique: Record and Review.

Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Record yourself speaking

Record a 5-minute video of yourself speaking improvised. No script. No prep. Just talk—about your day, a topic you care about, or even a random story.

Then… leave it alone for a day.

Why? Because if you watch it immediately, your inner critic will hijack the process. Give yourself space to come back with fresh eyes.

Step 2: Vocal image review

The next day, start by listening only.

• Turn the volume up.
• Turn your screen down.
• Just listen.

This is your vocal image—how you sound to others. What do you notice? Tone, pace, clarity, warmth? What do you like? What feels off?

Step 3: Visual image review

Now, watch the video with the sound off.

• Observe your body language.
• Notice your facial expressions.
• Are you animated or stiff? Engaged or distracted?

This is your visual image—how you appear to others. Take notes. Awareness is the first step to improvement.

Step 4: Transcribe and audit your words

Finally, transcribe the video—but don’t clean it up.

• Keep the filler words: um, ah, like, you know.
• Print it out.
• Highlight every filler.

These verbal tics dilute your message and clarity. Seeing them on paper makes them impossible to ignore—and easier to fix.

In another interview, Vinh Giang explains how filler words—like “um,” “like,” and “you know”—can negatively impact the clarity of your message. It’s perfectly natural to use a few; they remind your audience that you’re human. But when they start to clutter your speech, they become a distraction. He offers a practical solution: start replacing filler words with intentional pauses. A brief moment of silence not only gives you time to think, but also adds weight to your words. It’s a simple shift that can dramatically improve how confidently and clearly you communicate.

It wasn’t until later that I realized I had been subconsciously applying elements of the “record and review” method since the very beginning of my journey as a young professional. I still record important meetings, presentations, and interviews—especially when I know I’ll be doing a lot of talking.

Afterwards, I review the footage and look for ways to continuously improve. If I notice that I delivered my message well, it boosts my confidence. But if I stumble through parts of the storyline, it keeps me humble—and more importantly, it helps me learn. Each review becomes a stepping stone, ensuring that the next speaking opportunity is stronger than the last.

During a communication training I once attended, I learned a powerful truth: non-verbal cues—such as facial expressions and body language—make up the majority of how we communicate, accounting for approximately 55% of the message we convey.

The instructor also shared a handy acronym that I’ve kept in my back pocket ever since: FACT. It’s a simple yet effective framework to elevate your communication presence.

• F – First Impression: The way you enter a room or begin a conversation sets the tone.
• A – Attitude: Your mindset and emotional energy are contagious—make sure they’re working for you.
• C – Contact: Eye contact and physical presence build trust and connection.
• T – Time: Being aware of how much time you have shapes how you structure and deliver your message.

Last but not least, I recommend identifying a select group of colleagues who can offer both constructive and appreciative feedback (you can read more about this in a previous blog post of mine). Aim to gather input from a range of perspectives—not just one—so you can develop a well-rounded understanding of how your message was received.

One useful tip is to always “unit test” your communication. After sharing something important, ask your listeners what they understood. Their responses will reveal whether your message landed as intended. This kind of feedback not only helps you refine your delivery, but also builds confidence and sharpens your communication skills over time.

I’m still a long way from being an expert communicator like Vinh Giang, but I’ve learned that growth comes from leaning into discomfort. I keep putting myself in situations that stretch me—whether it’s a presentation, a tough meeting, or a public talk—because I know that’s where the real progress happens.

Whenever I feel nervous before speaking, I remind myself of something simple but powerful: if I’ve truly prepared, then I’m the best person to deliver that message. That thought calms me. It gives me a sense of purpose and helps me push through the nerves.

I also try to remember that most people aren’t sitting there waiting for me to mess up. They’re just listening, hoping to learn something or connect with what I’m saying. I saw this clearly when I spoke at a conference in Amsterdam. I was anxious, of course—but once I started talking, I realized people were actually interested. They weren’t judging me; they were just curious.

That experience stuck with me. It reminded me that these moments—where you get to speak, share, and connect—don’t last forever. So yes, prepare well. But also, try to enjoy it (remember this former blog of mine?). Because before you know it, it’s over.

I’d love to hear from you—how are you navigating speaking opportunities in your own journey? Are there any tips or habits that have helped you become a more confident communicator over time? Share your thoughts in the comments below. Your experience might just help someone else take their next step.