A stakeholder is commonly defined as “any individual, group, or organization that has an interest in, or is affected by, the outcome of a project, decision, or enterprise.”

While browsing my bookshelf recently, I realized I didn’t own a single book on stakeholder management. That absence made me wonder: have authors truly tackled this subject? It’s surprising, given how essential stakeholder management is—something every young professional should eventually master.

For years, I believed I was skilled in this area. I even listed it on my CV after my very first project—without hesitation. But when I changed jobs later in my career, I encountered stakeholders who were, let’s just say, on a whole different level of difficult.

Before I joined one particular company, the teams I was about to lead were lacking direction. There was no stable leadership, no vision, and no strategy to guide priorities. Everyone was busy—but busy with the wrong things. As Eisenhower famously said, “What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important.”

We were expected to contribute to a platform, but not delivering features that users found compelling enough to adopt. Our reputation within the organization was deteriorating, and trust from stakeholders was eroding fast.

I was brought in to turn things around — to rebuild confidence and get us back on track. But almost immediately, I was pulled into escalations and conversations I had zero context for. After all, I had just joined! Yet people were looking to me for answers—answers that stemmed from (empty) promises made long before I arrived.

It didn’t take long before I started sensing the pressure. Expectations were sky-high, and frustration was bubbling under the surface.

When life or work gets a bit chaotic (as I mentioned earlier), I find it helpful to fall back on a solid framework or tool. One that has saved me more times than I can count—especially in stakeholder management—is the stakeholder matrix. It’s super simple but surprisingly powerful: write down all the stakeholders you’re aware of, then map them on a grid based on how much influence they have (Y-axis) and how much interest they show (X-axis).

Here’s how I use it:

• High influence, high interest → These are your power players. Manage them closely.
• High influence, low interest → They may not be involved day-to-day, but their support is critical. Keep them satisfied.
• Low influence, high interest → They care deeply and can be strong allies. Keep them informed.
• Low influence, low interest → Don’t over-invest here. Monitor them occasionally.

If you’re unsure where a stakeholder belongs, ask your manager—or the stakeholder directly. This not only validates your understanding but also helps build rapport.

Once you’ve mapped everyone, formalize a strategy. Decide how often to engage, what to communicate, and how to tailor your approach to each quadrant.

In addition to the stakeholder matrix, these are some tried and tested tactics that have helped me navigate stakeholder management over the years:

• Always take it seriously, but never take it personally

I’ve learned the hard way that while it’s important to take stakeholder feedback seriously, taking it personally can quickly ruin your day and drain your energy. That’s why setting healthy boundaries—and developing a thick skin to withstand the shots fired along the way—is essential.

Picture this: emotions are running high, and your team has just let a stakeholder down. The conversation can easily turn tense—or even feel personal. In those moments, resist the urge to internalize the criticism. Instead, separate the feedback from the individual, identify the root cause as quickly as possible, and channel your focus toward finding a solution.

By doing so, you protect your own well-being while demonstrating professionalism and resilience—qualities that stakeholders respect and trust.

It’s worth remembering that things are rarely as bad as they first appear. Often, a stakeholder’s anger or frustration is the result of a series of events—some within your control, and others not. Recognizing this helps you respond with perspective rather than defensiveness.

• Remember that everything you do from this point forward can either earn a vote of confidence or cost you one

Your goal should always be to instill trust in your ability to deliver. A useful exercise is to occasionally ask yourself: “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much confidence does this stakeholder have in me—or in us as a team?”

I’ve faced situations where that number was painfully low. In those moments, I ask myself a follow-up question: “What’s the one thing I can do today to win back a vote of confidence?” If you can identify that one action—or even a few—make it a priority. Over time, those small, deliberate steps will build a strong foundation of trust and credibility.

• Take the time to genuinely listen

I’ll never forget one escalation that seemed to come out of nowhere. Instead of drafting a long email to defend myself, I scheduled a call with the stakeholder to better understand the individual’s perspective and how I could help. That conversation gave me the chance to introduce myself, build rapport, and—most importantly—listen. By focusing on the individual’s needs and concerns, I could sense that the approach was appreciated. Looking back, it was the perfect way to defuse what felt like a ticking time bomb.

To ensure I wasn’t dealing with an isolated issue, I also validated the pain point with other stakeholders. It turned out the problem was widespread. I immediately shared the insight with my team, and together we were able to identify a solution that addressed the problem.

• Transparency is key—never leave them guessing

Stakeholders should never have to guess what you’re working on or why it matters. When they do, they often assume the worst, and rarely give you the benefit of the doubt.

That’s why I always aim to be transparent. In my role, I receive problem statements from multiple departments, and it’s impossible to tackle them all at once (due to limited capacity within my teams). To manage expectations, I created a roadmap that clearly shows what items we plan to pick up and when. This way, even if I have to say “not now,” stakeholders can see that a “yes” may come later—and when to expect it. What generally makes stakeholders feel happy is knowing that you listened to them and didn’t forget about them.

Another practice I’ve followed since the start of my career is creating visibility around progress. Rather than leaving stakeholders to wonder, I make sure they can see the value being delivered—whether tangible or abstract.

My advice to young professionals: always visualize your time and effort. Showcase work in progress or completed work whenever possible, and highlight the impact it creates. If your organization doesn’t provide a formal space for this, take the initiative. Something as simple as a weekly checkpoint report circulated to key stakeholders can go a long way. In my experience, stakeholders deeply appreciate this gesture and the transparency it brings.

• Accept the fact that you cannot keep everyone happy

Trying to keep everyone happy often comes at the expense of your own well-being—and that should never be the case. Instead, accept that it’s impossible to please everyone, and that’s perfectly okay.

The key is to understand who you can afford to disappoint, and who you absolutely cannot (think of those who could make your life very difficult if they chose to). For example, if I had to choose, I’d rather disappoint someone with a casual interest in the outcome of my project than someone who will be directly affected by it. Those who are impacted by the result are the ones I prioritize, because my decisions could have a real effect on them.

Whenever you find yourself in a difficult spot with stakeholders and the pressure starts to build, remember Billie Jean King’s words: “Pressure is a privilege.” This iconic quote greets players at the USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center, home of the US Open.

And as Theodore Roosevelt reminded us in his famous Man in the Arena speech: “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena… who strives valiantly, who errs (makes mistakes), who comes short again and again… but who does actually strive to do the deeds.”

Stakeholder management isn’t about avoiding criticism or pressure—it’s about stepping into the arena, daring greatly, and earning trust through resilience and action.